Do I believe in love at first sight??... NOT at all, I mostly believe in lust at first sight. BUT I do believe that EVERYTHING happens for a reason....no coincidences. This got me thinking about our love story, which after almost 6 years...it seems to be forgotten more often than remembered.
Spencer had been home from his mission since 2005 and in the eventful summer of 2006 while partying with his best friend, he saw a picture on my aunt's bookcase (his best friend is my cousin). He asked who the pretty girl was and my aunt went ahead and gave him my email. That's how it all started- by email (and believe it or not, I still have all those emails). She sent me an email to let me know that this wonderful, tall, handsome young man would be reaching me, and she told me to think of it as a "pen pal"situation...for now. When we exchanged info and pics, he asked for my number but was scared to call...he had not dated very much. I ended up calling first, and I LOVED this man's voice. But I was skeptical from the beginning- he was studying in UT and I had learned my lesson with long distance relationships. This was just a friend I was talking to, nothing more. We talked for hours (from 9pm until 4 am) about everything and anything. I was too honest from the get go - my beliefs, why I was inactive in the church and my philosophy on life. I was not trying to scare him off, but after many failed romantic relationships, I have learned one thing- BE HONEST from the beginning. I'm not going to pretend to be someone I'm not just to snatch the guy and hopefully have my happily ever after. I saw a lot of people struggle in their marriage, so marriage always scared me. It seemed everyone fought and argued. I thought..."why would I want that?". Friends would get married and change after marriage- based on everything I had seen. I would have never thought that I would get married young nor have a child at 25- and I was ok with that. I wanted to be selfish and have a cool career and travel the world and get to know people and cultures...and just say " yeah, I did that."
SO back to the story-
We decided to meet at my cousin's wedding reception. I actually met him the day before and the first thing I did was shake his hand (he still makes fun of me for that). He was leaning forward for a hug- and I stopped him and shook his hand!! After the reception, we went mini golfing, he later asked if he could kiss me. I thought that was so nerdy at the time. But now..I think that was very gentleman-ish of him, and hope my child follows his example. He was the first and only guy to have ever asked me that...that's how I knew he was worth holding onto.
The reception weekend ended and I came back to my native state. We kept talking on the phone, and we both went to school and work....and that's about it. He then threw the idea of us actually being together. I had started to fall for him. I went along with the conversion...as it seemed natural..that would be the next step. He then surprised me by saying that he wanted to move closer to me and get married. By this point, I figured if he wanted me even with all my honesty and faults...sure...I was willing to give it a shot. HAHA...He proposed on Dec 28th (I was visiting him for new years) in the very back of the parking lot of a cinema. He drove all the way to the back, parked, and got out. That freaked me a bit....I thought I was gonna get mugged. He turned the music up...and he started to shake. He asked me to dance, which I thought was odd...and then when the song ended he asked me to marry him (on one knee of course). I just BAWLED....my husband later told me that this bothered him...he wanted an answer right away, even if it was no; he was not expecting me to cry. It was a pretty little ring and I accepted it with open arms and gave him a big hug. We went to dinner with friends afterwards.
He got accepted to the university I was attending and by January had moved practically around the corner. He lived in a studio...which later became our first apartment. He worked as a restaurant manager and went to school full time while I finished my last semester in college. I was very clear that I was not getting married unless I finished college first. He understood and supported me all the way. It was nice to see him on a daily basis and hang out with him, even if we really dind't do anything special. It seemed like all those hours talking made us realize that we were even better together in person.
I turned 21 that April, and in May got my Bachelors and two weeks later we were married in St LouisHe had more family that I did, so I figured it would be easier for them. Besides, I had already had my bridal shower in my state, so I was ok with the wedding being somewhere else. We had our honeymoon in the Canary Islands (thanks to my wonderful parents). I think that is the best vacation we've ever had! We came back and lived in a studio apt for about 2 months, then moved across the complex to a one bedroom after that and I got a full time job. Reality was finally setting in.
Our story is nothing out of the ordinary. After 5 years, 4 different apartments, 6 valentines' days, and 1 baby later....I think we're still happy. Marriage is hard, don't let anybody convince otherwise. It takes a lot of work and selflessness and humility to understand and accept each other's faults. BUT I have to say....it is a lot easier than I thought it was going to be. We have never fought...we argue...who doesn't?...but no fights...and I am grateful for that...grateful to have truly found my eternal soulmate and companion. I have always told Spencer that everything happens for a reason...everything in your life will lead you to somthing else. All the bad choices (and good ones) were made for a reason....to appreciate what was to come. I know that my choices prepared me to find an exceptional young man, who was willing to accept me for who I was, faults and all. Happy Valentines Day to everyone!
First time he visited me in 2006 (the camera was wrong)
Our 5th anniversary last year (same mini golf course that we went on our first date)
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