You know that point in your life when you give up and say..."yeah, I'm getting old" or "where did my life go"? I think I've hit that point several times in my life. Here's a more recent example:
YEP...that's what I'm talking about. THIS WAS MY LIFE! ( and there was a much larger one that was recently thrown away).
Between 2004 and 2007, all I EVER did was go to school full time and work full time. That was my life. On the weekends, I might have hung out with peeps but that was about it. I was so adamant about finishing school as fast as I could- I even went to summer school. The thing about getting a bachelors in a science field is that you have to take labs. OH those dreaded labs! It's not like you can just go to lecture (like english) and be done. NO...you gotta go to lab which takes up about 3 more hours of my life and only accumulates about one credit hour. But I enjoyed labs more than lecture. Lectures are so boring....I was going to school from 8am-4pm and working from 5pm to 11pm every day....To this day, I still don't know how I did it.
In those three years, I accumulated quite a bit of paperwork. Up until recently, I could not part with it. This paperwork includes all notes, tests, quizzes, grades, and all kinds of lab procedures. I always thought it would be important to have this stuff- you know...in case my kids like science. What was in those two black boxes was my whole education. I had even saved some reference papers from high school- including some math equations (because you can never run away from those) and novel cards (who doesn't LOVE Moby Dick and wish they could remember all the symbolism?).
Alas, we must move at least one more time soon and while gathering and looking at stuff to throw away, my husband and I found ourselves blaming each other for all the crap that we have accumulated over our 6 years together. "you don't even golf anymore, get rid of the clubs", I said. "You're the one dragging 40lbs of worthless paper around like you actually look at it...have you?". It was a low blow, but he was right. Have I looked at it since I graduated?? Of course not, it's just there for reference....like an encyclopedia. Did we ever look at those???? NO...unless you were researching something for school. I feel so attached to this pile of paper...so I prayed. I prayed to be able to let go of this and many other things that are just cluttering my life....and to move on. Why do I hold on so dearly to those years of my life?
The next day, I tackled the two black boxes that were hiding in the back of our second closet. As I opened it, they brought back so many memories. Old paychecks, old grades-even the bad ones....and it hit me why I was so attached to all this. It is all emotional- It was a good time in my life and I feel like if I let it go...I will be growing old. THERE IT IS.....I'm getting old. I no longer need college paperwork, I no longer need old paychecks and old high school papers. I needed to be ready to close that chapter in my life. It was so great...while it lasted. That's why your 20's are the best years of your life, they are so much fun and you find yourself and who you truly are...and what you want to be ....but it's done. It's time to move on. I have other priorities now. SO, these two HUGE bags of worthless paper are now sitting in a trash bin...probably waiting to be recycled and not be hoarded. I have moved on. I have lclosed that chapter in my life. The only souvenirs I have from college are my graduation pictures and my diploma. I don't need anything more.
Today, I heard the new song by Avril Lavigne (remember her?) titled "Here's to never growing up". Maybe....I have to physically grow old, after all, we can't really change time. BUT, do we have to grow up? Maybe I can hang on to that for a little while longer.....
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