Borderline "REFER"

Little Dom had the opportunity to meet with Jocelyn, a service coordinator for the TEIS (Tennessee early intervention system) on Jan 15. She came to our home and did the pre- evaluation to see how far behind Dom was on speech. There were 5 main areas they concentrate on- personal, communicative, motor, cognitive, and needs. She had him do several tests- like puzzles, building blocks, I spy books, commands...things of that nature. She was actually surprised that Dom actually found all the hidden animals in the book...and he even showed off someone letter sounds for her.

He scored extremely well on everything, except communication. He scored at a 40% delay which is pretty significant. He was what they call " borderline refer". A supervisor has to come meet with him and evaluate to see if he would truly benefit from this service. That took our info down and were hoping for a call by next week.

On January 31st, Supervisor Lisa came over and basically did some of the same tests with Dominic. There were a few harder ones. He surprised both of us when he was asked to stack the same color shapes. He actually stacked all the red squares together, and the yellow circles, and the blue triangles, and the green stars with no help at all. Her mouth was open and everything....her exact words "I'm floored....this is a 4 yr old activity. I've only seen 5 kids do this, myself." I felt pretty good for Dom there, until the communication tests started.

In times like this, I can't help but wonder where I failed as a parent. I stay home, and try to spend as much time with him as possible. We interact....it's not like the TV babysits him. I just don't understand where I went wrong....by the year mark, he had one word...and he tried way more sounds than now...it seems as soon as we moved, it's almost like he stopped completely. All we have now is "car", "right", and "there". He started nodding his head for "no" about a week ago, and he's still trying to get the hang of it.

I am not looking for pity here, but I don't know how to help him. He feels so comfortable where he is at. I have all these people telling me....oh well he's too small, oh well he should be saying sentences by now....I feel like they're concentrating on the negatives here, when we should all be happy that he scored way past par on everything else. Why didn't anybody congratulate him on that?? And besides, are these tests based on averages? Because I am yet to see a 2 year old say complete sentences. Even kids in the nursery don't do that, nor do they know how a puzzles works, or avoid opening the books. Dom is the first one to tackle the puzzle and the books...that counts for something right? I guess I just feel like I'm being pressured to pressure my child into being this "average" 2 year old. I don't want to force him into anything. Dom is very driven....he seems to know when he's ready.....he always has, he just knew and did it.....army crawling, and walking, and eating with utensils, drinking from a sippy cup (he's the one that gave up the bottle), and he left the pacifier alone all by himself. I just can't help but wonder, if maybe he's just waiting for the right time- I would like to imagine that when he does talk- he'll talk like a proper Brit gentleman haha. He just likes to do things differently. He knows more than half the sounds of the alphabet....that's gotta count for something right? But at the same time, I don't want to regret this later, a time when I could have helped him better himself....and I chose not to. Where do you draw the line? I want to give him the best opportunities out there. I want to give him the upper hand. I want him to know things before he goes to PreK or school. 

Anyways, Lisa had to take her scores back to her supervisor and have a meeting and see if Dom qualifies for speech therapy. This is all being done by the Tennessee early intervention system (TEIS)- all testing is free (what a relief)  and all tests are done in your home, which I think is awesome.

I'm glad his pediatrician recommended it, because I had no way of knowing this program even existed. If for some reason they decide Dom is okay to NOT recieve therapy, I think I will go ahead and look in the private sector and get him help anyways. Yesterday....he surprised me... He said "ball", "out", "strike", and "ouch" all in the same day! He only says them when daddy is playing the baseball wii game, but hey whatever works right?